Never give up

"Successful mothers are not the ones who have never struggled. They are the ones who never give up, despite the struggles." 

There are so many struggles I could mention on this topic. Daily struggles like stress, worry, and impatience, etc. 

But I think its time to share my biggest challenge I've ever been through being a mom. When I hear this phrase it reminds me of my biggest struggle as a mom. A time that I didn't think I'd make it to the next day. 

When I was 20 weeks pregnant with our first baby my husband lost his job. We moved in with my parents. After many months of unsuccessful attempts at finding a job. We had Emma!

A few more months went by with no luck on a job. Then... a long 7 months after my husband lost his job...he got a new job! But...we would have to move. The thought of moving was mind boggling. I'm very close with my family, so I really didn't like the thought of being far away from them. 

So he started his new job. Emma and I stayed with my parents for about 3 more weeks before we moved out with Jon. He came back every weekend to visit us. I was very scared, being a new mom and moving to a new city where I didn't know anyone. 

So we moved 5 1/2 hours away, which was very difficult for me. The weekend after Emma and I moved in with Jon I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. This was not in our plan. 

Here we are new job, new city (I didn't know a soul), new baby that was 3 1/2 months old. I was not prepared for this. I couldn't go to the doctor because we didn't have insurance yet. 

Everything worked out that I was able to find a doctor and get in after the insurance started. My due date was the day before Emma's first birthday. It was a very stressful pregnancy for me. We were trying to find a church, trying to make friends, and trying to figure out how to be first time parents...while preparing for the next baby. 

I think it was from stress, but I went into labor 2 1/2 weeks early. We had Ava! She ended up having to be in the NICU for 13 days. 

We brought Ava home 6 days before Emma's 1st birthday. They got to meet for the first time. It was hard to believe Emma was not even 1 yet and a big sister. They are 11 months and 1 week apart.

After we brought Ava home she started to cry all the time. It turned out that she had acid reflux and daytime colic...Emma had colic, but we were living with my parents and Jon wasn't working, so I always had help. Ava was colic during the day. I didn't know hardly anyone and Jon worked...and she also spit up all the time from the acid reflux. She was taking medicine for the reflux, so that did help some. 

After all this I started to cry all the time, everything made me cry. I finally went to the doctor because of it. I had postpartum depression. My doctor gave me a prescription and she even told me I should try to go stay with my parents for a week or 2. So of course I jumped on that and me and the girls stayed with my parents for 2 weeks.

So that was the toughest time in my life... 

Some of my favorite pictures of Emma and Ava...

They wear the same size...even this young

They love eachother...I call them frienimies.

Now...I wouldn't have them any other way. It was the hardest time in my life, but I'm thankful for how it turned out. I think sometimes to myself...if I could get through that, than I can get through anything.